Hmm, what’s been goin’ on with me? I weigh 110, I was 109 yesterday. Not bad, considering I was like 111-113ish all last week. I did the 250cals for 10 days with my best friend, but waited to start it at the same time she did, so it has only been in progress for 5 days. Except I think I will HAVE to restart it cuz last night I drank so much.
Omg. I went to my bf’s house and mixed sprite zero with strawberry tequila. Probably like 6 shots at least, and I’m semi-small not eating much so I got very drunk. I felt like hell so I went and made myself puke so I would feel better, the onnnnly time I can puke is when I am drunk, any other time, no way in hell. I used my toothbrush. My bf asked me “have you been doing this regularly, puking with your toothbrush” and I told him no, cuz that is the truth, I haven’t made myself puke in agesss. I was so drunk that I kept trying to puke more and more, cuz I though nothing was coming out, since sprite is clear and the tequila was light pink, I guess I was looking for vomit that was therrrre in the toilet, but I was just too drunk to realize it so I kept trying to puke more and more. Ugh, I felt better after I puked though. And he told me this morning that “no one can drink tequila without puking, and it is the kinda alcohol you mix with margaritas or have ONE shot of, not multiple mixed drinks, if I have more than one shot I will puke”. So that made me feel better, in a way. I don’t usually get sloppy-pukey drunk. Well sloppy yes, haha but not pukey. I felt like shit this morning. the good news is there is NO food worth eating at my house.
I finished my first nursing clinical “rotation”. Which means I worked at the hospital and demonstrated “meets standards” nursing criteria. Woo! One down, about 8 more rotations to go. OMG I got to go into the OR and watch a c-section delivery when I was in OB, it was pretty cool, I got to witness the miracle of life! I also worked in the NICU, and I got to feed the newborns. I held a newborn for the first time in my life while I was at the hospital working in post-partum. I don’t have any nieces, or nephews or young cousins, so it was kinda exciting getting to see/hold a little newborn. They were pretty cute, I loved getting to hold them and feed them. Awwww.
The nurse I was with asked me “so do you eat much?” and I was like “what do you mean?” and she said “well you’re so tiny”. And I laughed and said, “oh yeah I eat a lot.” Everyone is always commenting on how small I am, but I AM NOT. It’s weird that people can think that and I totally and completely disagree. My older sister was up when I got home and she said that I look like “someone who lives in a mental institution and never eats” lol I think she said that because it was 11:30pm I was walking around in baggy PJ’s, dead tired, I’d just got home from the hospital, and all my eyeliner was smeared around. I kinda took it as a compliment, haha.
I have a huge ass exam tomorrow. Fuck. I need to study for it, and have not done so at alllll yet. Ahhh I have a huge to-do list. I have nursing clinical 8am-5pm all week at a pediatric clinic. Here comes a longgggg asss week.
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Yesterday I was telling my friend how I miss being so small and feeling semi good about my weight and she told me I'm small now and that I used to look like a sick deprived child from Africa.. I took that as a compliment and thought about how I can't wait to look like that again. Funny how different we perceive things huh? You sound great! Wish I weighed as little as you. Keep it up girl! xo
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