Dear god!

me and my best friend talked about this concept once before, how no one knows I am smart unless they get to know me, no one knows I am nice unless they get to know me, no one knows I might be funny, or interesting, or caring, no one can know that unless they find out more about me. BUT being skinny is something people notice/see right off the bat, you don’t need to open your mouth, you don’t need to say or do anything. Its like getting recognition instantly. Because when you are thin people automatically think that wow that girl must have really good discipline/self control/ dedication to her body. Looks are honest, looks don’t lie. I want that instant recognition/gratification, because I feel that very few people actually know/think/believe I am smart, or nice, or a wonderful friend, or anything else positive about me.

My mom bought millstone vanilla flavored coffee! 0 cals! Woo! I will be drinking that all day, yumm! I haven’t been to the gym in fucking forever. I have been sleeping in during the morning/hanging out with friends/being lazy. I blame it on being depressed about school…..whichhh I have to go to my school and attend some political forum type events and write about them for a class. UGH! Like I don’t want to go to school on my day offfff of classes, but I have to. So I will be there all fucking day, because the forums are spaced apart…. Oh well at least I wont eat. Hopefully I will get some homework done in between the two events…

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