long post--why I hate xmas gift giving

warning: possibly rude/insulting….I wrote this letter and honestly thought about mailing it out to my family/family friends….but obviously my parents would flip a bitch on me if I did so. But I encourage you to all read it and think about it, I know everyone’s family is different, but for my family situation this totally hits the nail on the head, like I know a lot of people DO get presents they love, and give presents they know the recipient will love, but for me this is how it is, and my parents think I am “fucked up/a bitch/have problems” because I think in the following way (what the letter says).....

"Dear Family & Friends,
I am writing this letter to prevent future conflict, awkwardness, and misunderstandings. I am totally and completely against Christmas gift giving, so please do not purchase Christmas gifts for me, if you do continue to purchase me Christmas presents I will feel totally insulted that you were unable to respect my wishes and take me seriously. The following reasons should help clarify why I feel the way I do:

I’m 19: I am not saying this just to get attention, or to “be cute”, or “to be a bitch” or because I “am saying no but I realllyyyyy mean yes” so first of all let me just make that clear, I am writing this as a last ditch effort to get people to respect my wishes and understand where I am coming from, because all other attempts I have made to express this have not been taken seriously. I would honest to god rather induce vomiting and fake being sick then have to go to my grandparents and receive presents on Christmas Eve. Every year for Christmas my parents ask me what I want, every year I say “nothing” because there is nothing I want, then after further prying they ask again and again and then I realize there is something I DO want for Christmas, I WANT people to stop buying me Christmas gifts! And I tell my parents this, and I say “what I want is for you to tell everyone not to get me anything” but sadly they never listen because for some crazy reason they think I am lying/making it up.

Lies, Guilt & Awkwardness: every year I get presents that I do not want, would never want, would never use, do not like, do not care for, and downright hate, yet I am forced to open them smile and say “yay its what I have always wanted” “this is so cool” “thank you I love it” etc. etc. because it is socially unacceptable to open up a present and say “hah, yeah right like I would ever want hand lotion, I hate lotion” or “wow thanks for the gift card, I still haven’t spent the one you got me last year because I dislike shopping and I don’t have time to buy myself new clothes” Christmas forces me to lie, then I feel guilty for lying, and it is just an overall horribly awkward painful experience I am forced to endure. I would prefer physical pain over having to receive presents and pretending I like them.

Hassel/ Inconvenient/ Obligation: Why did you get me that present? Is it because you KNEW for a FACT that I always wanted such a gift and that I would be filled with joy upon receiving it, OR is it because it is Christmas and that is what one is “supposed to do”….obviously it is the later of those two options, because I can honestly say for as long as I can remember I have not liked/wanted/had any use for a single Christmas gift I have gotten. Why? What is the point of purchasing one a gift if you do not genuinely want to get them, or what is the point of purchasing one a gift that you are unsure of whether they will even like it or not? Christmas shopping is stressful, a hassle, it is inconvenient, and I do not want anyone to have to endure all the negativities of Christmas shopping on my behalf. Receiving a gift and knowing the gift was bought out of obligation or because the gift giver figured they were “supposed to or should” get their daughter/sister/niece/brother/son a gift is insulting.

What I really want?: No, don’t waste your time or money because guaranteed you will not get me anything I want, there is nothing I want. I have no need for material objects, or money, or trinkets, or clothes, no need at all. If I wanted something or if I need something I would go use MY money that I earned from work and I would go buy it for myself, so therefore anything I want or need I already own.

Waste of money: Enough said, I hate wasting money, especially when it is wasted on me.

Confined to a Day: say that you were shopping through the store and you see a bracelet and you are totally without a doubt in your mind convinced that your friend/sister/mother/cousin would absolutely love it, and if you are in the gift giving mood, well then why not go ahead and purchase it for them? Go for it, buy them the present! BUT Christmas is confided to a certain time frame, a certain day, which makes people feel that they have to/should/are supposed to exchange gifts during that time, which is retarded.

But I do love Christmas music, Christmas lights, Christmas baking, snow is pretty to look at, having a few weeks off school is also great, so I am not “anti-Christmas” I am just anti-Christmas-gift-giving. I am morally against Christmas gift giving, I think it is a retarded tradition that has been socialized to our culture as what is proper and normal, and anyone who breaks that norm is seen as an outcast. Sorry to inform you I am against Christmas gift giving, so go ahead and keep on buying others and receiving gifts from others that you don’t care for or want or need, but please from this day forward leave me out of the Christmas gift giving. Go ahead and call me a Grinch or a scrooge or whatever you so choose, just don’t buy me crap! Thank You!
With love,
Noelle"

.....Another reason to be depressed: my grandparents bought my sisters beautiful sweaters and jewelry and they got me a BOX OF CHOCOLATES and pajamas….cuz apparently I am both fat and a lazy slob? Fuckkkk. See this is why I hate Christmas gift giving! Like I don’t even like chocolates, I like white chocolate, I hate truffles/cream filled chocolates, and what kind of chocolates did they get me? Cream filled dark chocolate gross shit…..godddddddd. and the pj’s are red flannel and hideous! Like I hate presents that I don’t like, that my family wasted money on me, and it also makes me sad how totally clueless they are as to what I like. I never want to eat again.

I hate my family so so soooooo much its unbelievable, I know angst teenagers say that all the time, but I seriously mean it. Whenever I have the means to do so, I am going to move far far away, change my name, change my haircolor, leave no trace of evidence and say a big fuck you to my family, and they will never see me again, they won’t know if I am dead or alive, if I am rich or poor, in jail, married, if they have grandkids, nope I WILL disappear. Whats funny is I tell them this ALL the time, and they think I am kidding!!! Haaaaahhhh!!! Mark my words. It will happen, its just a matter of when.

I was so pissed of that I had to go to my grandparents house I was kind of throwing a fit before we left to go to their house, and so I sat at dinner and didn’t eat a single thing and my mom asked if I was gonna eat anything, and I just smiled in the most “bitch fuck you” type of smile and sweetly said “nope” and she just huffed, and that was that, I got away with not eating a single bite at dinner. Well I put a piece of bread on my plate, and threw it away. No one said shit about it. Thank god. I seriously can’t wait till I am 80lbs, because it WILL make my parents pissed off, and I fuckign hate them and so pissign them off is enjoyable to me! I am horrible and I am going to hell, I know, I know. I swear I am only this mean to my family, I am totally lovey and sweet and caring and niceto everyone else, even total strangers….haha hard to believe, but it promise its true.